Drivers are so emotional these days. Every little thing is a trigger for road rage. I remember when, if you wanted to pass another car, you would flash your headlights at them. And it meant “I would like to pass, would you please move over.” Now flashing your headlights means “Get the heck out of my way.” When did we become such impatient drivers? And honking your horn? Forget about it. There’s no friendly honk. Heaven forbid you should lay on the horn. But even if you give someone a little toot to snap them out of their distracted moment to proceed when the light turns green, they lose it. I have heard that there are some intersections in NYC where the traffic light actually honks when the light turns green. What a brilliant idea. This takes the pressure off of drivers and puts it on the traffic device. Although I haven’t been able to find any proof verifying this traffic light with sound effects, I did find that in Japan, some lights make a Cuckoo clock sound, but that is probably not for drivers, but for blind pedestrians. Still, either way, it’s an excellent idea.

I was making a joke in my Comedy Defensive Driving class that, perhaps they should slip a little Prozac in the water system to mellow people out. Little did I know that there may be a bit of Lithium in the groundwater or drinking water in some cities, and this is what I found.

According to the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health,
Using data for 27 Texas counties from 1978-1987, it is shown that the incidence rates of suicide, homicide and rape are significantly higher in counties whose drinking water supplies contain little or no lithium than in counties with water with higher lithium levels. These results suggest that lithium has moderating effects on suicidal and violent criminal behavior at levels that may be encountered in municipal water supplies. Comparisons of drinking water lithium levels, in the respective Texas counties, with the incidences of arrests for possession of opium, cocaine, and their derivatives (morphine, heroin, and codeine) from 1981-1986 also produced statistically significant inverse associations, whereas no significant or consistent associations were observed with the reported arrest rates for possession of marijuana, driving under the influence of alcohol, and drunkenness. These results suggest that lithium at low dosage levels has a generally beneficial effect on human behavior, which may be associated with the functions of lithium as a nutritionally-essential trace element.

It was just a joke, guys. Apparently, as most jokes, not a very original one since someone has already thought about this, studied it and implemented it. I’ll have to read more about this and help spread the word to promote World peace, calmness, less crime and of course those awesome honking traffic lights.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Impatient Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving