As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur? Or, a better question would be, how much of your own car is made from dead dinosaurs, since cars are now made out of plastic, derived from fossil fuels? Technically, you just “think” you’re driving around in a new fancy car, when in all reality you’re just driving a BIG OLD DINOSAUR! To take it even further, when you have a car accident, it should probably no longer be referred to as a “fender bender” since the fender is now made out of plastic and it doesn’t quit bend or crimp. It just pops off. I suppose this makes it more convenient and cost effective, since you can just toss the fender or bumper into your car and take it with you to the body shop and have them crazy glue it back onto the car.

Coal and oil (fossil fuels) are called that because they have been formed over millions of years from the remains of dead organisms buried underground. These organisms are mostly algae and marine plankton. Just watch a few episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants and you’ll get better idea of what plankton really looks like. Of course, we only see oil in its refined forms. While most oil comes from ocean life buried on the seabed, our fuel contains dinosaur ghosts as well.

According to archaeologists, no matter where the oil came from, only a small fraction of the oil in your plastic dinosaur could be from real dinosaur corpses. If it came from a Mesozoic-era oil field fed heavily by land matter, it might contain a slightly larger portion of dinosaurs. But, if it came from a pre-Mesozoic field sealed beneath a layer of caprock, it might contain no dinosaur at all. It’s hard to trace and all too thought provoking. And, while most of us have to be “provoked” or cattle prodded to “think,” my head may just explode at this point (which is difficult to get brain matter out of a dry clean only shirt). Perhaps stain remover has an oil-based product in it (again, my big head is realing). By the way, I once won a Wet Brain Contest when I was in college.

So, to wrap it up, all water in the ocean, at some point, has been part of a dinosaur. Since our bodies are made up of 60% water, I’m wondering how much of our bodies contain dinosaur fossils?? (DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED….)

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Fossil Fuels – Comedy Defensive Driving