My car is over 12 years old. And I just discovered by accident that it has this cool lumbar support feature. I was reaching down between the seats, trying to retrieve a petrified french-fry and found this little knob that I didn’t even know was there. I turned it and thought “Wow, this feels nice!” Now that I’m about to trade it in and buy a new car, I’m finding that it has all of these cool features. Isn’t that the way it goes? When you are preparing your car to sell it, cleaning it like it’s never been cleaned before, detailing it, when you’re finished and step back and take a good look at it, you think “I’d buy this car.” Maybe I should keep it. It still looks pretty nice. I’ve garaged it for 12 years, so the paint shop looks like new. It’s been a great car. It’s never let me down. But it’s mainly the color of the car that I can no longer live with. I think the dealership called it mid-life crisis yellow. When I bought it off the lot, I was impressed that it had all of the latest vehicle safety features. I was so impressed, in fact, that I wasn’t even concerned with the color. The car was loaded (and apparently so was I, or I would have never purchased this canary yellow car). One good thing about this color is, it’s easy to find in the parking lot at the mall. Even at night, I can spot it from a distance. I used to just follow the oil trail to locate my previous car. I must admit, I’ve never broken the factory seal on the owner’s manual. I think most people don’t. I didn’t want it to get stained, in the event that I ever wanted to sell the manual on ebay. So, now I’m curious what other safety and comfort features it has that I am not aware of.
Even 12 years ago, my car was equipped with some of the current safety features available. Anti-Lock Brakes and an Anti-Theft Device. Even Air Bags, which I believe were set to come out at 300 p.s.i. Current ones are set at a lower pressure, and mine would probably take your face off. Newer air bags are apparently kinder to the face.
Here is a list of the latest features auto manufacturers are boasting about:
• Back-Up Camera
• Anti-Lock Braking System
• Blind Spot Monitor
• Automatic Emergency Braking
• Lane Departure Warning
• Tire Pressure Monitoring System
• Adaptive Cruise Control
• Adaptive Headlights
• Automatic Parallel Parking
• Automatic Reverse Braking
• Back-Up Warning
• Bicycle Detection
• Brake Assist
• Curve Speed Warning
• Drowsiness Alert
• Electronic Stability Control
• Forward Collision Warning
• High Speed Alert
• Hill Descent Assist
• Hill Start Assist
• Lane Keeping Assist
• Left Turn Crash Avoidance
• Obstacle Detection
• Parking Sensors
• Pedestrian Detection
• Push Button Start
• Rear Cross Traffic Alert
• Temperature Warning
• Side View Camera
• Traction Control
I may not be able to afford a car with all of these safety features, and it’s likely that purchasing one with all of these will cost more than I paid for my house 20 years ago. Hopefully, some of these features now come standard, even for an economy car.
Until next week … wish me luck!
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
Latest Vehicle Safety Features – Comedy Defensive Driving

Category: driving safety tips
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Author: Daun Thompson

Daun Thompson has spent years acting in both film and theatre which has been paramount in launching her onto the comedy stage (incidentally, without a helmet, resulting in a nasty concussion). Being a funny girl is a full time job. A job that she hopes that one day will come with dental benefits and a 401K. Unlike her work, she is biodegradable, yet flame retardant. And gentle to the touch. Her goal in life??? For strangers to approach her and ask "Didn't you used to be somebody?" In the late 1980's she cut her teeth at the Velveeta Room on 6th Street in Austin, Texas ... the original room with the stripper pole. From there, she moved to northern California and worked with many comedy icons, like Mitch Hedberg, Marc Maron, Colin Quinn, Vic Dunlop, Huck Flyn, Michael Mancini, Doug Ferrari, Shang and Brian Posehn. Daun has been a licensed driver safety instructor and trainer with Comedy Defensive Driving for over 9 years. Her knowledge of driving safety laws keeps her readers informed and engaged with her blog adventures. She still continues to do stand-up comedy, sometimes in a reclining position...just to be different.