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You are driving down the moonlit highway, listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, thinking of …whatever, when all of a sudden a squirrel runs across the road. What do you do? No one likes hitting an animal or I should say most people don’t like hitting an animal, especially with a closed fist. But if you jerk the wheel you could kill yourself or another driver. All this is happening in a matter of seconds or less. You don’t have time to consult the PETA manual. What do you do??!! Here’s the answer, YOU HIT IT! TAKE IT OUT! I’m not saying you speed up to get a better angle at it but if you have to, run it over. OK, I know some of you are in a rage right now, but it’s better to take out the animal than yourself or someone else. Human life is more important than animal life, well most human life anyway. I’m sure there are plenty of my ex-girlfriends who would disagree with that statement. Alright, now I’ve pissed off PETA, Hindus, Kathlyn, Kristen, Tiffany, Dana, Jennifer, Shannon, what’s her face, I can’t remember her name, etc., etc.

If you have time to stop the vehicle safely, sure go ahead, stop! But if the cat darts out in front of you, then it’s goodbye kitty! Now Garfield is writing me hate mail. Get ready Bambi, you’re next! If you see a deer run out in front of you, be careful, there are usually others following behind. The worst thing you can do in this situation is slam on the brakes head on. The nose of the vehicle will dip forward, all the animal’s weight is on top and guess what? Bambi is going right into your lap! The best you can do is let up off the gas and try to side swipe on the passenger’s corner. Yeah, I said passenger’s side, because you can always get a new passenger, but you can’t get a new you!

Join me again next week and until then…

Take care and be safe-
Danny Keaton