Someone once said “It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.”
You Might Be a Horrible Driver If…

  • You exclaim, while crossing three lanes of traffic to take your exit, “I’m going to take this exit if it kills me!”
  • You actually tailgate someone to death.
  • You get compliments from the Lancome counter lady, and you did your makeup in the car on the way to the mall.
  • You drive with your knees while eating a Big Mac.
  • You finally do use your signal and then forget to turn the darned thing off. Like the eternal signaler.
  • You walk into your defensive driving class and everyone in there knows your name (like Norm on Cheers).
  • Your defensive driving instructor asks you about your ticket and you reply “Which one?”
  • The police have a rubber stamp with your name and driver’s license number on it.
  • You can actually wallpaper a room with your tickets.
  • You finish a text message at a red light. And don’t try to deny it…we all do it.
  • Your first name is Speed and your last name is Racer.
  • Your front seat passenger is actually on your laptop screen through skype.
  • Your wife started framing your defensive driving certificates.
  • You think a yellow light means speed up.
  • You spent more money on your laser detection device than you did for your car.
  • Your insurance agent has put a restraining order on you.
  • You purposely don’t pay your tickets because you like the food at the jail.
  • You get frequent speeder miles on your credit card.
  • Your car’s nickname is “dent“.

As Dudley Moore once said “The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”

Until next week…try to keep it safe.

Daun Thompson