H.O.V. is an acronym for the High Occupancy Vehicle lane. In most states, the minimum occupancy of a vehicle to legally drive in the HOV lane is two people. You, the driver (duh), while the second party can be a child in a booster seat or car seat. So, if you don’t have a little one, you may want to go out and get yourself one so you can drive in the HOV lane. Or, if you didn’t ask for one this past Christmas, it’s too late now. But you have 351 days until next Christmas to make one. And 54 days until April Fools Day to tell your husband you’re just kidding…about the baby and the marriage. Just think though, you can finally mount that “Baby On Board With Gun” bumper sticker, right next to your “I Swerve For Cops” bumper sticker. When I lived in California, some novelty company came out with an inflatable doll for the passenger seat. The cops got wise to it and the fine was $250. Plus you had to explain the doll to your wife. You know what they say…what happens in the HOV stays in the HOV. The same company also came out with a t-shirt that had a seat belt silkscreened on it. Studies show that most people that don’t wear a seatbelt admit that it’s because they don’t want to wrinkle their outfit. Not like going through the windshield won’t put a wrinkle in your outfit…and your head. Originally, I thought they put the HOV lane in for those people who like to drive in the left lane for a long time. Let me rephrase that…who like to drive slow in the left lane for a long time. I don’t usually get to use the HOV lane. I drive alone to work and back, I don’t ride a crotch rocket motorcyle and I don’t have an electric or hybrid car. But, I did have the opportunity to use the HOV lane around Christmas time. My sister Bobbie (we call her Oops, actually, because she’s 13 years younger than me…you figure it out), she and I were going shopping and I was so excited about getting to use the HOV lane! But the guy in front of us was doing 45mph. My sister says anyone who drives on the freeway at 45mph should be humanely euthanized. She managed an animal clinic and that’s how they talk, I suppose. Like any red-blooded vegetarian, she absolutely loves animals and would never eat one. But, given half the chance, she’d eat a person. She hates people. I’ve been told by some people that I am the nice one. And don’t think I don’t remind her of that on a regular basis, I do. So, if you’re the one driving that Ford F-150 that goes zero-to-60mph in 3 hours, get in the slow lane. Or you may find yourself DRT (dead right there) in your HOV (high occupancy vehicle). Sounds like a rap song, doesn’t it? If I was a rapper, I’ve decided to call myself Ibuprofen or Acetaminophen. I digress from my point that slow drivers cause more accidents than fast drivers, just remember that.
Another thing to remember, getting on the HOV lane by yourself is not really putting anyone’s life in danger. It’s all about carpooling, fuel conservation, emissions, pollution, etc. But, crossing over that double solid line to enter or exit the HOV lane, as opposed to entering or exiting where you are supposed to, is considered very dangerous. And, if you do the combination of the two, there are some stiff penalties to pay.
Until next week.