This week, I am on the beautiful Florida coast. It’s a nice, sunny place with a lot of shady people. I suppose that wouldn’t fit on a license plate, so they just decided to call it the Sunshine State. I refuse to go into the Ocean here because everything in the Ocean has teeth (even the plants). I saw an elderly woman pushing a shopping cart all the way from a parking lot to the store. Awww…isn’t that nice? She’s bringing the cart back into the store, instead of leaving it in the parking lot? My sister said that it’s because it’s actually cheaper than a walker. She’s probably right. Vacationing drivers are beyond scary. Here, everyone passes on the right, because everyone is doing 25mph in the left lane. They call those slow drivers here “Q-Tips.” Since I’ve been here, I’ve asked several people, both native Floridians and transplants, what exactly is the seat belt law in Florida. No one seems to know. Nor, do they seem to care. Perhaps there should be a reality show called “I Survived “Myself.”

They’ve recently put in some traffic circles or roundabouts near where I’m staying. They’re created for traffic “calming”, but they seem to only confuse and annoy people and cause them to get agitated. So, not really what they were going for, but it’s the thought that counts.

There are crosswalks in touristy areas in random places. And, if you don’t stop, it’s a hefty fine. But, time is money. And with people here taking about 20 minutes to cross the street, perhaps they should add a traffic calming circle there and just get it over with. In the center of the roundabout, they could build a PrimaCare and a Walgreens. Maybe even a Chiropractor’s office. Those traffic circles would be a great place to advertise for any of the above.

Tomorrow, I’ll be in Chicago. Let’s just see what taxi driver experiences I can share.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Florida Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving