I saw a LOCK TAKE HIDE sign today that said


LOCK Your Car

TAKE Your Keys

HIDE Your Belongings

FILL a Decoy Purse With Thousands of Angry, Venomous Bees” (ha!)

Typically when we talk about theft of automobiles, someone leaves the keys in their car and so it begins. We constantly see parking lots peppered with TAKE HIDE LOCK signs, and those of us who have had their vehicles burgled appreciate those signs more than ever. But even if you follow those three rules, there may be other things thieves are looking for, besides valuables.

I have been told by two police officers that you should never leave anything in your car with your address on it (such as registration paperwork, insurance cards, etc.) because thieves can break into your car and take your garage door opener, along with anything that has your address on it. Most people don’t lock their interior door from the house to their garage and that’s how they burgle your home.

So now you have a better idea of how you’re going do your “Christmas shopping” this year, eh? Of course, I have nothing to worry about because I have nothing a thief would want. A few years back, someone kicked in my door and didn’t steal one thing! It could be because I have an old-school TV with about a three foot deep picture tube. It would take three grown men to lift it out of my house.

Later, I got a flat screen TV and called Good Will to see if they would take it. But they apparently only take flat screens at Good Will now. Or, perhaps I was just calling a fancy one in a fancy part of town (snobs). I also had a VCR. Remember those? Ah yes, good old video tapes, I must be a hoarder. I have the player but we would always rent the tapes at Blockbuster. Remember them? There used to be one on every corner, like Starbucks, but now they’re all gone. And, I’m not proud, but I single-handedly put them out of business because I didn’t pay my late fees.

Until next week… be safe. Hide your holiday purchases. If they are large purchases, just take them home immediately.

Daun Thompson

Writer  / Comedienne / Artist

Theft of Automobiles- Comedy Defensive Driving