Roadkill Bingo. I thought it sounded like a great idea, but someone had already beat me to it. Playing a game like this on a road trip would be a refreshing change from a kid being focused on a laptop or a video game for hours. It would also encourage them to actually look out the window and view the scenery. What a concept, right? So they can get some sightseeing in while searching for roadkill (also known as “flat meats” or “the other-other white meat”…I just made that last one up). After all, death is a part of life. And road fauna (or if it’s a young deer…fawn-a) is abundant. Of course, automobiles have impacted how we eat, altogether. Now you have the option to drive through or drive by. Automobiles have most certainly helped us to drive animals to their graves. I read somewhere that deer horns can be mounted on vehicles to warn deer of approaching automobiles. I envisioned the rack of a seven point buck mounted to the front of the car so it looks like a deer itself. Interesting. Then I realized…those things are called antlers. Not horns! That’s the Devil. Sometimes I get the two confused. And, although you can possibly hit a deer any time of the day, deer tend to be more active at dawn and dusk. And, they are particularly active during the October-December mating season. What a coincidence…the same goes for all of the trampy girls in my hometown.
If you don’t know what to do if you hit an animal, just call the local authorities. They will probably recognize you from your seedy past. Regulations on whether you may remove an animal from the road vary from state to state. In this economy, is wouldn’t be such a bad thing to be able to take roadkill off the road. But, at least in Texas, it is against the law to do so. Apparently they don’t want you to become roadkill while you’re taking the roadkill off of the road.  Go figure!

Until next week…

Daun Thompson