I was reading about frivolous lawsuits and about the asshole lawyers who clog up the courts with these cases. No wonder there are so many lawyer jokes. (What do you call a hundred lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean?…A start.) Now if someone has been truly victimized, then may justice and restitution be bestowed upon them! But with all these frivolous lawsuits, when will Capitalism start taking out personal injury lawyers? They circle around the wagons of companies waiting to pounce like a rich cougar on a pool boy. I hope there is a special Hell for lawyers and who have forgotten about justice and have been seduced by greed; they have to sit and watch “The Rainmaker” over and over for eternity.

We all remember the Mc Donald’s coffee lady, right? Well, this one beats that! A guy buys a milkshake and rear-ends another driver because he is not paying attention. So the guy who got hit sued McDonald’s because get this…McDonald’s “failed to warn customers about the dangers of eating and driving.” The plaintiff reportedly was threatened by a clown wearing red and yellow and was sexually assaulted by a large purple grimace. The case was thrown out of court.

In 2008, a man sued the family of the 17-year-old boy he’d hit and killed for the damage that the boy’s body did to his Audi. Under public pressure, he later dropped his lawsuit. Not surprisingly, the man was nominated for “Asshole of the Decade”…and won. He beat out Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden and Rush Limbaugh.

Now this one takes the cake of shit when it comes to frivolous lawsuits;
In the mid-1990s, a blind man was given the gift of a Seeing Eye Dog. “Allegedly” the dog stepped on a woman’s foot in a shopping mall. I’m sure it wasn’t on purpose.
The woman sued the dog’s owner, Southeastern Guide Dogs (a non-profit group), for “mental pain and suffering.” (Maybe the dog tried to hump her too.) After being ridiculed in newspapers and on CNN, the plaintiff dropped the lawsuit.
Now, of course, one can be cynical and lose faith in humanity when they hear about stories like those that the mainstream media loves to report. Greed, someone got caught doing something wrong, war, pandemics, economic loss and then cut to commercial so you will buy things and consume. But what about the people who are not tainted and help others out the kindness of their hearts. Rarely do you hear about this? How many times have we had to sign this, initial here, that way it releases any liability from a company if something goes wrong. I guess the point I’m trying to make is this; don’t blame others for your own stupidity and if someone else makes an honest mistake, don’t sue because someone stepped on your foot!! We all get the case of “the Dumb Ass” from time to time, nobody’s perfect. Join me again next week and until then…

Take care and be safe-
Danny Keaton