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THE PERFECT FIT CAR

I am all of 5 ft 2 inches and am vertically challenged. In fact, I look a lot taller when I’m lying down. But people stare when you’re lying down in public, especially in a restaurant or a bar. I absolutely hate the “s” word (short). Tall people like to just throw that word around, like diet pills at a weight watchers meeting. Finding clothes that fit is always an adventure, to say the least. Hemming anything no less than 6 inches has always been a hassle. And I’m totally lazy, so thank goodness for masking tape and staples. So, with my dwarf-like proportions, the challenge now is finding the perfect fit car.

With a little research, I have found that good visibility is the primary requirement when purchasing a car. Looking for a car with a low “beltline” (the border between a car’s metal body and its windows) is imperative. Large “greenhouse” windows, of course would be ideal, although I have always been wary of too much glass in a car. And looking for a car with narrower seat cushions, as opposed to wide upholstery will make it easier for your stumpy legs to reach the vehicle’s pedals comfortably. I prefer a straight shift transmission, but probably an automatic transmission car would be more practical if you already have trouble reaching the pedals, adding one more, like a clutch to the mix is probably a bad idea. And, to be practical, it’s hard to hold a beer and a cigarette when shifting gears.

So I will be looking at these features when purchasing my next car. I was hoping that this car will last me a few years. And be a comfortable fit. But, with old age and osteoporosis, all I have to look forward to is getting shorter. So it’s likely that I’ll be looking for another car again in just a few years from now. Then, back to the old drawing board.

Until next week….

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

( See me live this weekend: Escapades – Arlington, Texas Drugstore Cowboy – Dallas, Texas )

The Perfect Fit Car – Comedy Defensive Driving

Daun Thompson: Daun Thompson has spent years acting in both film and theatre which has been paramount in launching her onto the comedy stage (incidentally, without a helmet, resulting in a nasty concussion). Being a funny girl is a full time job. A job that she hopes that one day will come with dental benefits and a 401K. Unlike her work, she is biodegradable, yet flame retardant. And gentle to the touch. Her goal in life??? For strangers to approach her and ask "Didn't you used to be somebody?" In the late 1980's she cut her teeth at the Velveeta Room on 6th Street in Austin, Texas ... the original room with the stripper pole. From there, she moved to northern California and worked with many comedy icons, like Mitch Hedberg, Marc Maron, Colin Quinn, Vic Dunlop, Huck Flyn, Michael Mancini, Doug Ferrari, Shang and Brian Posehn. Daun has been a licensed driver safety instructor and trainer with Comedy Defensive Driving for over 9 years. Her knowledge of driving safety laws keeps her readers informed and engaged with her blog adventures. She still continues to do stand-up comedy, sometimes in a reclining position...just to be different.