Backseat Driver (băk’sēt’) noun  

  • A person who persists in giving unsolicited advice.
  • A passenger who constantly advises, corrects, or nags the driver of a motor vehicle.
  • My boyfriend  (a.k.a the Armchair Quarterback … or A.Q. for short … he seems to know better than the players themselves and is always eager to shout advice. Where’s the darned “eject” button when you need it? Austin Powers had one!

Most back seat drivers shout their commands or list of distastes from the back seat. Where they are totally out of reach of the driver.  Not fair!  My suggestion?  Carry a flyswatter under the front seat. (By the way, Flyswatter is also a noun : A flyswatter is a hand-held device for killing flies and other pests.)

I have been driving for 35 years (43 if you count the years that I drove my drunk pappy home from the bar).  So, who seems to know how to drive better than I do?

Did you know Android has an app called “Back Seat Driver”?  What’s an Android? I have no idea. But you should get one for your baby. As long as he has to ride in the back seat, he may as well be practicing to be a backseat driver.  Practice makes perfect, you know. My daughter is 16, been out of the booster seat for over 11 years and still rides in the back seat.  Not for safety sake…she just doesn’t want to be seen with me. At least she doesn’t nag me about my driving from back there. Of course, she has her headphones on and she’s checking her email on her phone the whole time.  So, she’s just too busy to be bothered with my driving habits.

With so many distractions in the car as it is, having a backseat driver just adds fuel to the fire.  So, if you’re mister TYPE A who just loves to distract the person hauling your butt around by barking at every little maneuver that you don’t agree with, just remember…they can put you out at the bus stop. Then you can sit behind the bus driver and nag him or her all the way home. They just love that!

Until next week… let your chauffeur drive and just enjoy the ride.

Daun Thompson