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Zodiac Signs and Driving Habits

A study conducted by car insurance company Privilege shows that your zodiac sign may be attributed to your driving habits. Of course, you can’t blame your speeding ticket on your zodiac sign (nice try, though). Here’s the list they compiled for Zodiac Signs and Driving Habits. See what your zodiac sign says about your bad (or good) driving habits.

CAPRICORN (DEC 22 – JAN 19)
Capricorns tend to drive slower than other drivers. You’ll hardly find a Capricorn speeding. This sounds backwards to me since Capricorns also tend to be the least green of drivers, and speeding burns more (wastes more) fuel.

AQUARIUS (JAN 20 – FEB 18)
Aquarians tend to struggle with their driving test and rarely pass it on the first attempt. They are said to hardly ever be a designated driver, probably because they’re embarrassed by the appearance of their car. Aquarians typically own the dirtiest cars and they prefer a crazy car color (like mid-life crisis yellow).

PISCES (FEB 19 – MAR 20)
Kudos to this water sign which boasts not only the cleanest cars, but also the most expensive. I would attempt to make fun of that somehow, but what’s the point? If you’re going to drop a lot of money on a car, why not keep it perty?

ARIES (MAR 21 – APR 19)
Aries are said to be the rudest of all drivers. They tend to drive flashy cars and are most likely to have those cars stolen because they often leave the car unlocked with the keys in it. Or maybe it’s all just bad karma for being rude.

TAURUS (APR 20 – May 20)
Taurus are apparently the worst drivers of all and are said to also be the worst parkers (but then, that could be said for most of us…unless we’re talking about parking on a date…in which case, I think most of us would be totally offended).

GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUN 20)
Gemini tend to remain calm and cool in a pinch. They tend to pass their driving tests the first go and often end up being everyone’s designated driver.

CANCER (JUN 21 – JUL 22)
Cancers tend to be the best parkers (really?) And I suppose there is nothing more to say…(how about best kisser?)

LEO (JUL 23 – AUG 22)
These lions tend to be speed demons. They are always great at taking their driving test and usually pass it the first time…in a big hurry.

VIRGO (AUG 23 – SEP 22)
Virgos tend to be eco conscious and are practical in that regard when purchasing a car. They tend to enjoy driving more than most people do.

LIBRA (SEP 23 – OCT 22)
Libra tend to be among the top road ragers. But they are eco friendly much like Virgos. So they probably won’t chase someone for long, for fear that they will waste fuel and pollute the environment.

SCORPIO (OCT 23 – NOV 21)
Here we go! Scorpios are said to be the best drivers of all. Perhaps they’re more patient and take their driving skills more seriously? They are also rarely concerned about their car’s appearance.

SAGGITTARIUS (NOV 22 – DEC 21)
The most polite drivers on the road, Saggittarians almost always lock, hide and take their belongings when leaving their car. So, they’d be the least likely to have their car stolen or broken into.

Take what you will from this. I, for one, find it a load of amusing horse manure.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Zodiac Signs and Driving Habits

Daun Thompson: Daun Thompson has spent years acting in both film and theatre which has been paramount in launching her onto the comedy stage (incidentally, without a helmet, resulting in a nasty concussion). Being a funny girl is a full time job. A job that she hopes that one day will come with dental benefits and a 401K. Unlike her work, she is biodegradable, yet flame retardant. And gentle to the touch. Her goal in life??? For strangers to approach her and ask "Didn't you used to be somebody?" In the late 1980's she cut her teeth at the Velveeta Room on 6th Street in Austin, Texas ... the original room with the stripper pole. From there, she moved to northern California and worked with many comedy icons, like Mitch Hedberg, Marc Maron, Colin Quinn, Vic Dunlop, Huck Flyn, Michael Mancini, Doug Ferrari, Shang and Brian Posehn. Daun has been a licensed driver safety instructor and trainer with Comedy Defensive Driving for over 9 years. Her knowledge of driving safety laws keeps her readers informed and engaged with her blog adventures. She still continues to do stand-up comedy, sometimes in a reclining position...just to be different.