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Citation Nation – How I Got a Texas Traffic Ticket!

I just received my first citation in many, many years. The secret to my clean driving record is, I drive like a nervous chihuahua looking out for cops. And, no, I’m not mad at the cop, although he was a weenie. You know, the type that really wants to say “Ha Ha” but holds back because he’s trying to be somewhat professional. I’m sure that I deserve a fine, and it was way overdue. In hind sight, I should have told him “You should have seen how fast I was speeding earlier, officer” but I didn’t. I didn’t even tell him that I teach defensive driving because I didn’t have time for him to give me a lecture. The sad thing is, I do know better. And, I wasn’t actually speeding. What I did is, I took a right turn at a stop sign and didn’t come to a complete stop. Some call it a California roll or rolling stop. According to law, in order for your car to come to a complete stop, it has to “settle.” Counting three seconds before you leave a stop sign or before you take a right on red will assure your car has actually settled and save you (and by you, I mean me)…around $215…what???…for a California roll? So, I suppose if you have spinners on your wheels, it looks like you never stop. As I indicated, the law says that your car has to settle, not that you have to stop for three seconds. But, it would be a good habit to get into so you don’t get a ticket for it. Perhaps I got tripped up because I was bragging that I haven’t gotten a ticket in a long, long time. I see other people bragging about it and they get three tickets in a row, like celebrity deaths. It’s like the karma monkey trips them up for bragging about it.
So, I must have done something to upset the balance of my karma, because, so far this year, I have gotten not only this ticket, I also have received a camera light ticket and have had my car towed. I’m considering taking the bus. With the price of gas, tolls, insurance and anxiety medication, it may be less expensive in the long run to take a cab or a bus. You rarely see those drivers being pulled over by the police, do you?

Until next week…

Daun Thompson

Daun Thompson: Daun Thompson has spent years acting in both film and theatre which has been paramount in launching her onto the comedy stage (incidentally, without a helmet, resulting in a nasty concussion). Being a funny girl is a full time job. A job that she hopes that one day will come with dental benefits and a 401K. Unlike her work, she is biodegradable, yet flame retardant. And gentle to the touch. Her goal in life??? For strangers to approach her and ask "Didn't you used to be somebody?" In the late 1980's she cut her teeth at the Velveeta Room on 6th Street in Austin, Texas ... the original room with the stripper pole. From there, she moved to northern California and worked with many comedy icons, like Mitch Hedberg, Marc Maron, Colin Quinn, Vic Dunlop, Huck Flyn, Michael Mancini, Doug Ferrari, Shang and Brian Posehn. Daun has been a licensed driver safety instructor and trainer with Comedy Defensive Driving for over 9 years. Her knowledge of driving safety laws keeps her readers informed and engaged with her blog adventures. She still continues to do stand-up comedy, sometimes in a reclining position...just to be different.