As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?  Or, a better question would be, how much of your own car is made from dead dinosaurs, since cars are now made out of plastic, derived from fossil fuels?  Technically, you just “think” you’re driving around in a new fancy car, when in all reality you’re just driving a big old dinosaur!  

To take it even further, when you have a car accident, it should no longer be referred to as a “fender bender” since the fender is now made out of plastic and it doesn’t quit bend or crimp. It just pops off, so you can toss it into the car and take it with you to the body shop and have them gorilla glue it back onto the car.

Coal and oil are called fossil fuels because they formed over millions of years from the remains of dead organisms that were buried underground.  These organisms are mostly algae and marine plankton. Just watch a few episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants to understand. Of course, we only see oil in its refined forms. While most oil comes from ocean life buried under the seabed, our fuel contains dinosaur ghosts as well.

According to archaeologists, no matter where the oil came from, only a small fraction of the oil in your plastic dinosaur could be from real dinosaur corpses. If it came from a Mesozoic-era oil field fed heavily by land matter, it might contain a slightly larger share of dinosaurs.  But, if it came from a pre-Mesozoic field sealed beneath a layer of caprock, it might contain no dinosaur at all.

So, all water in the ocean, at some point, has been part of a dinosaur.  Coincidentally, since our bodies are made up of 60% water, how much of our bodies contain dinosaur fossils?? (DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED….)

Until next week…

Daun Thompson

Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Fossil Fuels – Comedy Defensive Driving