Returning Student Login

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Holiday Safety Tips – ComedyDefensiveDriving.com

Posted on:

Happy holidays! Or perhaps I should say happy safe holidays. I typically write blogs focusing on driving. And next week I do plan to focus on driving in inclement weather. But it’s important to stop and think about those that are less fortunate. Those that, in order to give, they feel that they must need to take. And for those unfortunate souls, desperate times bring desperate measures. So, let’s focus on the safety of getting to and from your car. Let’s focus on holiday safety tips.comedydefensivedriving.com. These are a few safety precautions that I practice and have passed on to my daughter.
Always be aware of your surroundings. It’s bad enough that it gets dark earlier now and most of us will be out doing our holiday shopping at night. But even in the daylight, you could have your purse snatched right out of the shopping cart, or right off your arm while you are still attached to it. The police step up their efforts and will increase the patrolling in shopping centers during this time of year to insure citizens are safe. Make sure you park in a well-lit place. If valet parking is offered, take advantage of it. If not, have your keys out before you head for your car, pointy side out. Look around before exiting your vehicle. Never leave your car unlocked or leave anything visible inside your car. Never leave your keys in the ignition or your car running unless you are in it. Car theft is rampant, especially during the holidays. Lock your car doors as soon as you get into your car. When pulling into your garage, close the garage door before unlocking your doors and exiting the car.
Criminals also love to prey upon impaired victims. They seem to be more carefree and easily conned. So, whatever you do, if you are planning to have a cocktail or two during the holiday festivities, find a designated driver.
Following these tips will help your holidays continue to be merry and bright.
Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
Holiday Safety Tips – Comedy Defensive Driving

The Legal BACL – ComedyDefensiveDriving.com

Posted on:

Do you know what the legal BACL (blood-alcohol content level) is for driving while intoxicated? It is .08. Not to be confused with .08 cents (which is 50 cent’s younger brother). I was thinking, if Lincoln was a rapper (just go with me here), what would his rapper name have been? Five cent? Maybe Weird Beard or Jebediah? If I were a gansta rapper, my stage name would be Acetaminophen or Ibuprofen (now that I’m older and creaky).
It is illegal to drive at a .08 BAC or higher in all 50 states. That means .08 milliliters of alcohol to 100 milliliters of blood. It is unclear to most people how many drinks it takes to get you to.08 because that varies greatly depending on many factors. Such as your gender, your weight and height, your age, your metabolism, what kind of physical condition you’re in, how much time passes between drinks, and how much you’ve eaten. If you’re on medication (prescribed or non-prescribed) adds to the factor as well. So, basically everyone is different. You can’t put everyone into the same category. Some people also don’t filter alcohol through their liver like most or may have a smaller liver than most. Sometimes it’s just genetic.
According to the National Institute of Health (NIH), a .08 is roughly equivalent to 4 drinks for a 180 pound male. For a 140 pound female, only 2 drinks could put her at a .07. 3 drinks would raise her blood-alcohol to .10. While blood-alcohol levels do decrease over time, it’s typically by only about .015 an hour. So a person who is at a .08 would likely need 6 hours to completely sober up.
One drink is defined as a 12 oz. beer, a 5 oz. glass of wine, or a 1 to 1.5 oz shot glass of 80-proof liquor. A 12 oz. beer would mean an average size bottle of clear, domestic beer. Not a dark beer, stout, IPA, etc. Many imported beers are stronger in alcohol content. That’s why the English drive on the wrong side of the road. Some wines are stronger than others as well. Read the label’s alcohol content. And liquor would not include something like Bacardi 151 (which is 151 proof), or Everclear Grain Alcohol, which is 190 proof (yikes!).
But even if a driver is below a .08, studies show driving skills are significantly impaired at a .04 level (which is the current legal limit for anyone with a CDL (Commercial Driver License). That would be just 2 drinks for the average male, and 1.5 drinks for the average female. It’s also important to remember drivers can be arrested for a DUI, even if they test below a .08.
So, this holiday season (and always), just don’t drink and drive. If you think about it, taking a cab or Uber or Lyft at $25-$55 would be a lot less expensive than fines, attorney fees, jail time, etc.
Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
The Legal BACL – Comedy Defensive Driving

Drowsy Holiday Driving – ComedyDefensiveDriving.com

Posted on:

I was having trouble falling asleep and all of my fellow zombie friends offered up a variety of remedies. From what I can recall, because I’ve slept since then, they suggested a plethora of both natural and synthetic sleep inducers such as Melatonin, Benadryl and Chamomile Tea. One friend even suggested I watch The Big Band Theory. Nah, just kidding, she actually told me get some tryptophan (the enzyme in turkey) and watch Scream Queens. Honestly, that worked the best. I took the tryptophan at bedtime with a side order of cranberry sauce and a nice Chianti. Perhaps it was the Chianti that knocked me out. Whatever it took, I didn’t care. I was desperate for that elusive thing called sleep. Even my dogs, that do nothing but sleep all day (they are even sleeping next to me as I write this blog), had no trouble getting to sleep at night. I considered walking in a circle, like they do, until I fell asleep. Perhaps it’s the dizziness that does them in. I hear that mixing medications will do the same. Probably the reason they don’t ask me back at the Improv. The Thanksgiving holiday is only one week away. With holiday travel and large tryptophan induced meals (that may even include alcohol), make sure you get a grip on drowsy holiday driving.
Most states now have fatigue laws regarding drowsy driving. And some of those states consider a drowsy driver to be just as dangerous as a drunk driver. Which means that the penalties could be just as stringent as driving while impaired on alcohol or drugs. So, maybe limit your drinking or do not drink at all. If you do drink, designate a driver. Try to cut back on the turkey. Don’t overstuff yourself. Bring home what you can’t eat in a doggie bag. Your dogs will love that. Feed them the turkey with tryptophan. They will sleep until Christmas. And have a safe Thanksgiving holiday.
Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
Drowsy Driving – Comedy Defensive Driving

Update Regarding Seat Belts on School Buses – ComedyDefensiveDriving.com

Posted on:

On September 16th, I wrote a blog about seat belts on school buses. Safety experts say it is a “no brainer.” Even young children know better. Since they are always correctly restrained in the back seat of their family vehicle, it’s just becomes a habit. They know that it’s safer. They feel safer. So, it must be terribly confusing for a child when they get on the school bus and there are no seat belts. Now, finally the Federal Government is changing their position and recommending there be seat belts in every school bus, nationwide. It’s about time! So here is the most recent update regarding seat belts on school buses.
Some school buses already have them, but most don’t. And, although even Mark Rosekind, the Administrator of the NTSA (National Traffic Safety Administration) agrees that the safest way for a child to get to school is on that big yellow bus, many kids are killed and thousands are injured every year in school bus accidents. The NTSA doesn’t require seat belts on school buses. But now, Ntsa is now taking action and officially declaring that seat belts save lives. And going even further by endorsing that there should be a 3 point restraint safety belt for every child on every bus. They are asking school districts to do it voluntarily and if not, rule making may follow. Also, eventually making it mandatory for a bus manufacturers to have seat belts standard on school buses. So, if the safest way to get to school is on that big yellow bus, wouldn’t safety belts make them even safer? Absolutely!
It’s definitely a huge step. But It’s not a mandate yet. It’s up to your local school district to budget it. But it is going to be expensive and experts worry that some districts won’t do it unless they are forced to. So the NTSA says they may have to do just that.
Parents and educators need to rally together within their own school districts to make school officials aware of the utmost importance of this matter.
Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
**You can see Daun perform in November at the following comedy venues:
Sue Ellen’s – Dallas, Texas – Nov. 15
Escapade’s – Arlington, Texas – Nov. 20

Update Regarding Seat Belts on School Buses – Comedy Defensive Driving

Fall Driving – ComedyDefensiveDriving.com

Posted on:

It’s always a shock to the system when we set our clocks forward or back for daylight savings time. Now that we’ve set our clocks back for Fall, days are going to be shorter. This means less daylight and more darkness. You’ll probably be driving to work in the dark and driving home in the dark as well. Leaves will be falling, making pavement markings unclear in places. Welcome to Fall driving. Weather is unpredictable in the Fall. Rain causes slick roads. Cold, moist mornings may lead to fog. And then comes the frost. We all know how annoying that can be. Be extra careful on bridges, overpasses and shaded areas where frost can accumulate. There will be more pedestrian traffic with early holiday shopping (I have mixed feelings about those people who shop early and make the rest of us look bad, so drive as you wish). Actually, more people will likely be jogging and walking their dogs before and after work, which will now be dark.

So, plan to slow down. It’s called Fall Back. So just try to be laid back. Leave earlier if you can (so it’s good and dark). Leave time to clean your windshield and windows for good visibility. In addition to an emergency kit, pack a few other useful items such as a flashlight, blanket, umbrella, ice scraper and even a pair of sunglasses for sunrise and sunset glare. Drive slower and be cautious for stopped cars, accidents and pedestrians. And don’t forget about the fall stirring up the critters. There will definitely be more suicidal squirrels on the road, gathering nuts or doing whatever they do. You just know they’re going to dart back across the road. That, you can anticipate. While the changes in weather, you cannot.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Fall Driving – Comedy Defensive Driving

Smoking Inside a Car – ComedyDefensiveDriving.com

Posted on:

I grew up in a generation where adults were always smoking inside a car with children present. Even smoke on a bus or a plane. Well, now we have one more reason to cause a baby to cry on a plane. Now, with our knowledge of second hand smoke, heck, that’s probably why Froggy, the kid on The Little Rascals, talked the way he did. An elderly man told me that he stopped smoking in his car out of guilt because he threw a lit cigarette out his car window and it came back into the back window, landed in his granddaughter’s booster seat and burned her leg. What the heck was he doing smoking in the car with a child present in the first place? What a relief it would be if every state passed a law prohibiting anyone from smoking in a vehicle with anyone under 18 present. Perhaps it would be an even better idea if people were prohibited from smoking in a car altogether. That would certainly help to eliminate distractions and grass fires. As of October 1st, England passed a law regarding this. Cheerio for them, I say!

Research shows that second hand smoke is even more dangerous to children than adults because children breathe more rapidly and have less developed airways, lungs and immune systems. Every time a child breathes in second hand smoke, they breathe in thousands of chemicals. This puts them at risk for serious conditions including meningitis, cancer, bronchitis and pneumonia. And it can worsen asthma.

Now, at least eight states in America (Oregon, California, Utah, Vermont, Main, Arkansas, Louisiana and Puerto Rico) have banned smoking in cars when children are present. And other states are considering it. Not only is smoking in an enclosed space hazardous for children, it is also hazardous for other passengers. Plus, of course, preventing the driver from being distracted by the act of smoking decreases the danger of traffic accidents.

It is said that over 80% of cigarette smoke is invisible and even opening windows does not remove all of the smoke. The level of toxic air in a vehicle from one cigarette is up to 10 times greater than levels that are considered hazardous. And, again, Children with undeveloped lungs and immune systems are susceptible to serious health issues from being cooped up in a car with a smoker.

So, think twice before lighting up with children in the car.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Smoking Inside A Car – Comedy Defensive Driving

Open Container Laws – ComedyDefensiveDriving.com

Posted on:

When I moved to Texas in the late 1970’s, everyone in the car could have an open container, even the driver. I thought you would get a ticket if you didn’t drink and drive in Texas. They didn’t sell beer and wine in grocery stores then. And you certainly couldn’t buy alcohol on a Sunday. Which I found quite odd, since weekends were made for Michelob, weren’t they? At least that’s what the ad said. An open container means anything with the seal cracked. And the open container laws have evolved immensely since the late 70’s. Several years passed before the law changed. The new law banned the driver from drinking, but passengers could still have an open container in the vehicle. Later, no one could be drinking in the car, whatsoever, and any open container could not be within reach of the driver. Current law prohibits the open container from being in the car at all. Any open container must be locked inside of a glove compartment or console, or locked in the trunk of your car. Or, if your vehicle doesn’t have a trunk, the open container must be secured behind the last seat. And make certain that it has been secured, because if it breaks, you may be what they call a crying drunk.
Back in the 70’s, we called an open beer in the car a road sodie. Although it’s illegal, every so often I see someone having a cold one on the way home from a long, hard day.
Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
Open Container Laws – Comedy Defensive Driving

Texting Lane – ComedyDefensiveDriving.com

Posted on:

When you’re walking down the street these days, people don’t even say hello when passing. They’re too busy texting or reading something on their phone. I read a study that said this could be the cause of double chins and bad posture. What about all of the beautiful trees and colorful landscapes they miss? I remember when we had land lines and answering machines. You actually had to wait until you got home from work to see who was trying to reach you. Now we have instant gratification and no place to hide from bill collectors. We had rotary dial phones, tethered to a short cord leading to a wall jack. If you were being stabbed to death and needed help, the last number you’d want to dial is “9.” And the “1-1”… forget about it. By then you’ve already bled out. Your only other option was to dial zero, which was even worse. Perhaps that was called natural selection in those days.
Now, everyone is talking or texting. They’re wearing a Bluetooth earpiece, hidden under their hair so you can’t see it. They’re looking directly at you, walking towards you. Wow! You think they’re talking to YOU. So you ask them “What?” And they snarl “I’m not talking to YOU!” How rude is that? Perhaps someone should invent a bubble to wear so you can have a personal conversation in public. And, what about women talking on the phone in a public restroom? They do that! That’s not only awkward for those of us in the restroom with her, but awkward for the person on the other end of the line. They can hear the toilets flush, you know. It sounds like a Chinese Gong. “Where are you calling me from?” “Benihana?” But men take selfies in a public restroom mirror, so everyone loses in the manners department, both men and women.
No one is paying attention to you, to life, to the road, or to others on the sidewalk. Utah Valley University has created a texting lane for students who are walking while texting. Not a bad idea. Perhaps city streets should have texting lanes as well. After all, there are bicycle lanes in some cities. The Chinese city of Chongqing has done just that. They’ve created a Smartphone sidewalk lane. And the Belgian city of Antwerp introduced text walking lanes for pedestrians using mobile phones. Sounds like a smart idea. It’s probably a crowded lane.
As for texting lanes on roadways, now that would be the lane with the smoke and the fire…
Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
Texting Lane – Comedy Defensive Driving