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What To Do If You’re Being Pulled Over!

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If you’re like me, then from time to time you’ve been known to exceed the speed limit by a few miles or so. Maybe you’re in a hurry and you didn’t take the time to come to a complete stop at that stop sign – maybe you didn’t even see the stop sign! In any case, a violation of the rules of the road might see you in hot pursuit by flashing blue and red lights. In these situations, there are certain protocol that should be followed to ensure the safety of you and your passengers, as well as the officer in charge. Here are a few tips should you ever find yourself being pulled over while driving.


1. Slow down and turn your turn signal on to get to the closest and safest place to stop, whether this is on the right shoulder of the road or highway, or in the closest parking lot. You’ll want to pull over as quickly as possible, but more so in a safe and calm manner.


2. After you have pulled over, make sure you turn off your radio and your car engine. Roll down your window and place your hands on the steering wheel. Police officers are killed making routing traffic stops on a daily basis, so anything you can do to assuage their heightened alertness and portray that you are cooperating in a calm manner is key.


3. Don’t go rummaging through your purse or wallet until the officer gets to your car door. This may indicate you are looking to hide something or possibly reaching for a weapon.


4. When the officer gets to your door, the first thing they will probably ask is to see your license and registration, and possible insurance. Most of these things should be kept in your car or on your person.


5. In most cases, anything you say to an officer may later be used against you in court. An officer may hand you a ticket, and in most cases signing it is not an admission of guilt, just a promise to pay the fine or show up in court. Most of the time, the correct response to a police officer is, “No,sir” or “Yes,sir.”


6. The police normally cannot search your car unless they find probable cause … but this can be anything they deem suspicious from a weird smell to an object in plain view. Don’t give them any reason to further detain you, follow the steps above!


There are a few instances when extra precaution may be used when getting pulled over. If you are alone on a dark highway or side road, it is within your rights to continue driving until you find a well-lit or more populated area. You may also ask that an officer identify himself/herself if getting pulled over by an unmarked or strange vehicle with flashing lights. Getting pulled over certainly is no fun, but following these precautions can save you a lot of grief!

Slow Drivers –

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Today, I woke up in a small town in Illinois. I haven’t lived here in over 36 years. And, while I’m used to the hustle and bustle of big city life, it’s a nice change of pace in a small town. No worries, no rushing, no honking or yelling (and we’re talking before you even leave the house). Yesterday, we drove to a nearby town to do some shopping. We took the back roads with all of the other slow drivers. Not because it was quicker or to avoid road construction, but because the highway route just wasn’t scenic enough. I remember the day I moved away. My parents, standing in the driveway, waving goodbye as if they were never going to see me again (probably hoping so). I moved nearly 1,000 miles away from my familiar small town. And never moved back. When my daughter was 17, I believe it was in April, and she was ripping everything off of her bedroom walls and throwing it all in a storage bin. I asked “What are you doing?” She said “I’m packing up.” Me, “Why? Where are you going?” Her, “I’m moving out.” Me, “When?” Her, “I don’t know. Maybe November.” I said “But it’s April! Are you trying to break my heart?” Then I went into another room, phoned my 78 year old parents and apologized to them for being insensitive when I was 17. My mother’s response was “I’ve been waiting by the telephone for 35 years!”

I taught my daughter how to drive. And, I must tell you, my daughter is a slow driver. At least she is when I am in the car with her. And, because she drives the speed limit, people pass her on the right. And they honk at her and flip her off (with me in the car!). Hey! That’s my kid you’re flipping off! I learned that’s what the sun roof is for … flipping people off. And, if you can drive with your knees, you can apparently flip people off with both hands. People are talented, aren’t they? They should put Prozac in the water system. So, my daughter would fit in well here. Or, in Colorado, for that matter. Since they’ve legalized marijuana, I bet there are a lot less speeders now. And more job openings in the snack industry.

But here are the hard, sad facts. Slow drivers cause more accidents than speeders. Not keeping up with the flow of traffic (just like not keeping up with the Kardashians) is actually more dangerous than speeding. But, the impact from those high speed crashes actually cause more fatalities than low-impact crashes. Have you ever heard the term “Speed Kills?” I wish I’d made up that phrase. I’d totally put it on a bumper sticker and collect royalties. And I would put one on my own bumper. Right alongside my other bumper sticker that says “Tailgating Kills.”

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Slow Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving School

Seat Belt Laws –

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I am a baby boomer, a product of the 1960’s. My Father and Mother were both from lower middle class families. Rising above, my Father’s success measured in new cars. Like that ’68 Toronado convertible with an 8-Track tape player, blasting the Ventures. One thing different about this new car is that it had seat belts. But they were cloth, lap seat belts that were always conveniently tucked down into the seat. My Mom’s arm was our seat belt, and she can still pack a wallop today! My Father used to call her the seat belt. Later in life, he would refer to her as the airbag. In fact, since 1966, laws were put in place that required automobile manufacturers to make seat belts a standard feature in all cars produced. However, federal law did not require that drivers and passengers use seat belts or assess punitive measures for those who did not. Prior to 1984, safety was an “option.” New York became the first state to pass seat belt laws. And later, other states followed suit. Thank you, Ralph Nader. I think I voted for you once.

Yes, we baby boomers grew up in a time of social change. It was a time of free love, countercultural values and safety actually being an “option.” Where was the logic? Prior to seat belt laws, we had steel dashboards covered in a paper-thin layer of vinyl. You could actually stand up on the seat if you were small enough. Most of my cousins wear “bangs” to cover a nasty permanent scar as a result. Heck, we would ride in the back window of the car, like a Beanie Baby.

And what safety options are there today? There are too many to list. But, to name a few, we have airbags, anti-lock brakes and sensors for tailgating, drifting, blind spots and hydroplaning. Laws require car seats and booster seats for kids as well. We’ve come a long way.

So, do the right thing. Buckle up your passengers, your kids and yourself. So you and your passengers can live to a ripe old age like the rest of we baby boomers, including George Clooney, Ricky Gervais, Sting, Madonna, Stephen Tyler and Barack Obama.

Until next week…buckle up.

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Seat Belt Laws – Comedy Defensive Driving

The Financial Responsibility Program –

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We’ve come a long way. When I moved to the Lone Star State in the late 70’s, nearly every pickup truck had a gun rack mounted in the back window with a big ole rifle on display for all the World to see. Then I moved to Northern California, where every pickup truck had a wine rack mounted in the back window. Not really. I just thought I’d try it out. Not funny? Well, let’s move on then. One thing that has certainly changed in Texas (that has been an ever-looming problem) is making sure that all drivers carry insurance and are therefore “financially responsible.” It’s called the financial responsibility program. In the past, it was easy to fool law enforcement regarding auto insurance coverage. You could get a new policy, pay the first month’s premium and never bother to pay the remaining premiums. But you’d still have an insurance card that showed coverage for 6 months. Then, when that date passed, move on to another insurance company and do the same thing. Now, with the Texas Sure Program, police computers are linked up to a network with insurance providers. So they know if your insurance is valid or not. No liability insurance carries a hefty fine as well as the possible impoundment of your vehicle. You must pay a $260.00 surcharge, annually, for three (3) years and it remains on your driving record FOREVER. There are still people driving around with no liability insurance. And, those of us who are financially responsible are all paying extra for uninsured and underinsured motorist coverage because of those people.

So, “Yay” for modern technology. We all understand that insurance rates are climbing. And, with the economy, it’s difficult to pay high insurance rates. You can always take a Comedy Defensive Driving class taught by real comedians to get an insurance discount for three (3) years. Not only will it lower your insurance rates, but it’s also a nice refresher course. There are also websites that will give you several quotes at once so you can compare rates. As I mentioned, you must keep a current insurance policy. But you don’t have to pay Neiman-Marcus prices for liability insurance. Who wants to spend a bunch of extra money on insurance when you have better things to spend your money on? (such as Jack Daniels).

Until next week…be financially responsible.

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

The Financial Responsibility Program – Comedy Defensive Driving

An Introduction to One of the Idiotic Drivers You will Meet on the Road

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Here at the Comedy Defensive Driving school, we try to incorporate a little laughter into our lessons. This helps lighten the mood, and it makes it easier for students to absorb the information. After all, when something is funny, you pay attention. When it is boring, you quickly zone out and start counting down the minutes until you can finally leave! During your course, whether you take it online or in one of our classrooms, you are going to hear some hilarious stories of insane drivers, idiot drivers, distracted drivers, slow drivers, road ragers, and more.

Let’s take a closer look at one of these idiot drivers. You are probably familiar with this situation. You’re driving along the highway at night, and a car comes over the hill in front of you. His lights are bright and blinding. You flash your headlights as a gentle reminder to the offending driver. Yet, his bright lights stay on. You flash again, shielding your eyes with one hand to prevent permanent damage to your corneas. Nothing. This is a classic example of the “I have no business driving at night because I can’t see without my brights, so I will just leave them on, and other drivers be damned” driver.

So, what do you do in a situation like this? Well, what you DON’T do is get angry, slam on your brakes, flip a U-turn in the middle of the highway, chase the driver down, and beat him to a pulp. Nope, that would make you one of the road ragers you will learn about. The best thing to do is look away from the bright lights as best as you can. Focus your eyes a little lower than normal, such as on the line on the right side of the road. Your eyes will be tempted by the light — DO NOT go toward the light, because you won’t find Jesus on the other side.

Contact us today at Comedy Defensive Driving to learn more about how to handle strange, crazy, dangerous, and downright idiotic situations on the road.

3 Questions to Determine Your Level of Driving Common Sense

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Taking a course in defensive driving online is your best defense against the many, many things that can go wrong on the road. From the drunken drivers, to the drivers that simply have no common sense, Comedy Defensive Driving is here to help you successfully and safely navigate the highways. Speaking of drivers with no common sense, have you ever been accused of being one of these drivers? If so, you may need a crash course in basic driving skills, as well as defensive driving. Here are three questions to help you determine if you have the right amount of common sense to be on the road — or if you might be better off traveling on foot.

1. Do you find your foot hovering over the brake pedal and giving it a tap for no reason at all other than to make sure the brakes are working? If yes, you are guilty of too much brake tapping! This kind of situation can quickly lead to frustration and annoyance of the drivers behind you — which means they could put you in a risky situation trying to get around you.

2. Are you an overly nosy person? If yes, you are probably guilty of practically breaking your neck trying to get a look at the car pulled over by the highway patrol or the three-car wreck on the other side of the road. Gawking at things going on around you can quickly take you from gawker to gawkee as people strain their eyes trying to see the details of the accident YOU caused.

3. Does merging onto the interstate make your heart race? If yes, you are likely guilty of merging at extremely slow speeds. This is a good way to cause a massive pile-up behind you. Drivers speeding along at 70+ miles per hour won’t have time to stop as you pull your little turtle shell out onto the interstate.

If any of these questions hit home with you — and you have to answer honestly — then, you can use a few of our courses to give you the good sense you need to drive safely. Contact us today at Comedy Defensive Driving, and STOP being a hazard on the highway!

Learn How to Handle Idiot Drivers on the Road

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You already know that defensive driving techniques are our specialty. When you take one of our courses online or in the classroom, you are going to learn how to deal with tons of roadway situations — including coming across the inevitable “idiot” driver! You’re probably familiar with these drivers already — the ones that dart in and out of traffic with no regard for anyone else, the ones that risk life and limb passing you on a curve, only to slam on their brakes at the next intersection to make a left — that’s right, a LEFT turn!

“Idiot” drivers are everywhere. They drive as if they are the only cars on the road. Their thinking is different from the average driver. To the “idiot” driver, their mani/pedi appointment is the only thing that matters. To the “idiot” driver, reaching the jobsite on time is crucial — and the only reason they are late is because of YOU, not because they overslept. As far as “idiot” drivers are concerned, no one else knows how to drive.

Here at Comedy Defensive Driving, we will teach you how to handle the various idiotic situations you might come across. Like how to avoid an accident when an “idiot” tries to pass you with only six feet of dotted lines — or passes you on the right! Whether it’s swerving, passing, braking, speeding, or traveling at a turtle’s pace in the fast lane, we will make sure you have the knowledge and skills you need to keep your cool and stay safe!

Contact us today at Comedy Defensive Driving, and let us help you keep the “idiots” at bay!

Learn How to Avoid the Pitfalls of Distracted Driving

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If taking a Florida traffic school online sounds like something you might be interested in, you have come to the right place. Comedy Defensive Driving is THE place to go to learn all you need to know about driving. And the best part is: we do it with humor, to ensure that you have a good time while you are learning.

You can expect to learn about a lot of different things, including distracted driving. On a serious note, distracted driving is very dangerous — it puts your life at risk, as well as the lives of others on the road. On a lighter note, we are all guilty of distracted driving at some point — we just got lucky and didn’t cause a ten-car pileup in the middle of rush hour! Be honest. At some point, you’ve been fiddling with the radio, messing with your hair, reaching for your drink, answering your phone, scarfing a sandwich, or doing something else that takes your attention away from the road. Heck, maybe you even did all of the above at the same time, in which case, you have NO business on the road!

Distracted driving is easy to do, but it can be a hard habit to break. Comedy Defensive Driving will help you break the cycle that makes you a distracted driver. We will also make sure you know how to watch out for those drivers; you know, the ones that put their makeup on, shave their beard, dye their hair, write letters, compose music, and pick their noses — all while driving 65 mph down the interstate! Talk about dangerous!

Contact us today to learn how to deal with those drivers, and make sure you don’t become one.

Be a Better Driver from Home

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Realizing that you may need some traffic school can happen at any time. Perhaps you rear-ended someone because you were too busy looking at the scenery. Maybe you drove into a ditch while you tried to read a text message. Maybe you froze up in traffic and drove 10 mph. Whatever the reason may be, if you need traffic school, we are here to help. Our Florida online traffic school makes it easy for you to gain the knowledge you need, without cutting into your lifestyle too much.

Comedy Defensive Driving has instructors that specialize in two things: teaching you how to drive defensively, and humor. When we combine the two, you are guaranteed sessions that keep you in stitches — while learning how to avoid getting stitches from accidents. Our online setting means that you can learn how to be a better driver from the comfort of home — so, go ahead and sit in your underwear and stuff your face with a sandwich. We can still teach you!

We offer a wide range of topics when you enroll in one of our courses. From the basics, to the finer skills of defensive driving, you will learn how to maintain your cool on the road, follow traffic laws, drive your car in a safe manner, and still enjoy your time on the road. Driving doesn’t have to be boring; in fact, it shouldn’t be boring, because you should always be alert on the road. Learning how to be a better driver doesn’t have to be boring, either, which is where we come into the picture.

Contact us today at Comedy Defensive Driving to learn more about our online courses, and let us help you be a great driver with fabulous skills!

Consequences of Drinking and Driving –

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The rumor spread across the internet (or the innerweb, as my dad calls it) was apparently a hoax. Yes, it is only an urban legend that the drinking age, nationwide, in America is going to be raised to 25. Some say it’s not a bad idea and that, at the age of 21, a person is still not mature enough to handle the responsibility and consequences of drinking and driving. Minimum drinking ages in the U.S. are established on a state-by-state basis, not mandated across the nation by federal law, though if your state doesn’t have a minimum age limit of 21 the federal government will not allocate highway funds to that state… subsequently every state now has a minimum drinking age of 21.

It would be interesting, though, to see how it would play out. When I moved to Texas in 1979, the drinking age had been changed from 21 to 18. Eventually, it went up to 19 and stayed at that age for a short time and then went back up to 21. Somewhere in between, I’m sure the age was 8. Or, maybe that was in Mexico. I hear the drinking age there has gone up to 12. Just kidding, I know it’s 18. Also back in ’79, everyone in the car could have an open container, even the driver. I thought you’d get a ticket if you didn’t drink and drive. We’ve certainly evolved over the last 30 something years. So, when hearing this rumor, my first thought was that it’s all in the evolution process.

The consequences of underage drinking and driving will result in a DUI. This includes harsh fines, drivers license suspension and possibly adding an expensive car breathalyzer device. The driver will most likely have to attend drug/alcohol and driver’s education classes as well as to complete a month or more of community service. Another penalty is possible probation for up to four years.

Oh, and a surcharge for three years. That comes in the form of a bill which you will receive in the mail. So now everyone knows about your big mistake. Even your mailman, so don’t be surprised if he offers to be your AA sponsor.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Consequences of Drinking and Driving – Comedy Defensive Driving